Long time no write

It is amazing how even the tiniest bit of good news can change your mind set!

I have not posted in awhile. I just did not feel like sharing my black hole with anyone. Truth be told it has been a very difficult few weeks. There were some good things mixed in, and I will for sure do some updates on those good things now that I am in a better place.

I knew when we decided to move from the US to Sweden that it was going to be difficult, however there is really no way to completely prepare yourself for how difficult it will be. I was letting it get the best of me. I see all of our expenses and see that I have no way to bring an income right now to fix the problem. I spend all of my days listening to people speak and I understand so little of it that I get frustrated and stop paying attention. This just causes me to retreat further in to my black hole. Once in that hole the only things I can think about are how bleak I perceive the immediate future to be. 

Well it is not that bleak!

There is a cycle that needs to be broken. I need to start looking at some of the positives. One of the issues is that Sweden has been my home for less than two months, but it feels like it has been far longer than that. It is that feeling of being here for so long that draws me to the negative thinking. 

My wife has been stuck with a zombie for a while now and I realized today the affect that it has on her as well. She called Skatteverket today to find out when they anticipated that I would receive my personnummer. The personnummer is the most vital thing in Sweden. Without it you cannot do anything, and I need mine so that I can enroll in language school and get a job. When she got to speak with them they informed her that I had been "written in Sweden" since July 18th and was already granted my personnummer. Apparently it was lost in the mail!! They are going to send me the information again so that I may get an ID card and register for SFI. 

The news today does not magically fix everything, it is however just the ray of light that I needed to guide me out off that damned black hole. I only needed a little good news and I felt a million times better. I am not expecting everything to be rainbows and unicorns going forward. But I now realize how bad my mind set had actually gotten. It was taking me away from the exciting new world I am in, and I was not enjoying life the way I should.

You "C" there is a fine line between coffee and pocket

I feel as though the Swedish language is going to kill me before I figure out how to speak it. I try to listen to conversations and am feeling like I recognize more words everyday. My family and friends here in Sweden are always urging me to try and use what Swedish I do know. My wife tells me that she thinks I have a good vocabulary so far, but that she thinks I should not be so shy about speaking. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am never one to shy away from speaking and that is what makes this so frustrating to me. I hear people speaking and it sounds so graceful and even beautiful at times. When I try however it sounds like a coughing donkey. I will say things that I practice a thousand times and my wife or any other Swedish person will look at me, cock their head to the side like a confused dog does and with a pleading look in their eyes ( as to say please god do not make that awful noise again ) they will say. "What"?

So I decided that I would work on writing things instead. Problem with writing things is that a lot of  Swedish words sound very similar with the only differences being long or short vowels. Plus the lovely Swedes felt the need to add in three extra letters to the alphabet (ö,ä,å) that I still have not quite figured out their sound, or the sounds for any of the other vowels for that matter. Anyway we (my wife, sister in law, daughter and myself) went downtown one day to participate in my sister in laws favorite sport (shopping). As the time was creeping up to around mid morning it was approaching coffee time. The Swedes are very passionate about their coffee breaks, which works well for me because I LOVE coffee. As we settled at a nice cafe in the heart of downtown Stockholm with our kaffe (coffee) and chokladboll (extremely wonderful chocolate balls) I decided to take to Facebook to inform the world what I was doing. Now before I get get carried away the "world" is actually only a couple hundred people of which maybe 10 can actually understand Swedish. I logged onto Facebook, checked in at the cafe and then with the confidence that all of my Swedes have instilled in me I typed "Ficka", and proceeded to enjoy my coffee and chocolate ball.

When we went shopping in the next store I saw a set of coffee cups that spelled out "FIKA" (the Swedish term for coffee break) and the panic and embarrassment hit me like sledge hammer to my stomach. 

"What in the hell had I just put on Facebook?"

I found my wife and asked. 

"Hey babe what does f-i-c-k-a mean"? I nervously waited for her reply.

"Pocket" she said without hesitation.

"Dang" I exclaimed.

My wife gave me a questioning look and I explained to her what had just happened. Her and her sister both tell me not to worry about it, but for the rest of the day I felt like everyone in Stockholm was staring at me whispering "pocket" under their breath.

I am sure that I am going to encounter many more language slip ups along the way. My Swedes all keep encouraging me to try no matter how bad I murder their language and for that I am thankful.