I have not posted in awhile. I just did not feel like sharing my black hole with anyone. Truth be told it has been a very difficult few weeks. There were some good things mixed in, and I will for sure do some updates on those good things now that I am in a better place.
I knew when we decided to move from the US to Sweden that it was going to be difficult, however there is really no way to completely prepare yourself for how difficult it will be. I was letting it get the best of me. I see all of our expenses and see that I have no way to bring an income right now to fix the problem. I spend all of my days listening to people speak and I understand so little of it that I get frustrated and stop paying attention. This just causes me to retreat further in to my black hole. Once in that hole the only things I can think about are how bleak I perceive the immediate future to be.
Well it is not that bleak!
There is a cycle that needs to be broken. I need to start looking at some of the positives. One of the issues is that Sweden has been my home for less than two months, but it feels like it has been far longer than that. It is that feeling of being here for so long that draws me to the negative thinking.
My wife has been stuck with a zombie for a while now and I realized today the affect that it has on her as well. She called Skatteverket today to find out when they anticipated that I would receive my personnummer. The personnummer is the most vital thing in Sweden. Without it you cannot do anything, and I need mine so that I can enroll in language school and get a job. When she got to speak with them they informed her that I had been "written in Sweden" since July 18th and was already granted my personnummer. Apparently it was lost in the mail!! They are going to send me the information again so that I may get an ID card and register for SFI.
The news today does not magically fix everything, it is however just the ray of light that I needed to guide me out off that damned black hole. I only needed a little good news and I felt a million times better. I am not expecting everything to be rainbows and unicorns going forward. But I now realize how bad my mind set had actually gotten. It was taking me away from the exciting new world I am in, and I was not enjoying life the way I should.