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Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Bike


For the last two years this has been my daughter's bike. Over that time she went from wobbly and scared to a parents heart attack inducing dare devil. When I walked outside today and saw my daughters bike all alone in the middle of my parents yard, it became so much more.

It became a catalyst for an outpouring of emotion that I have been bottling up since arriving in Colorado. This little bike brought me to tears. I looked at it and no longer saw a bike, but a piece of my daughters life. She overcame some of her biggest fears on this bike. She learned that pain goes away on this bike. She got her first taste of independence on this bike. She also became more responsible on this bike.

When I looked at this bike today, all I could think about is how much my life is changing right now. I have made a serious effort to not have any emotions showing for the last two weeks. I do not want anyone to misinterpret my emotions. I do not want my daughter to see daddy crying and scared about moving to Sweden because I am trying very hard to instill confidence in her. I cannot tell her that everything will be okay while I am crying and scared. So the choice I made was to bottle it up. Apparently my bottle was full and that damn bike was the last drop.

This bike saved us all today. There had been such a tension in the air today. Nobody was talking or enjoying each others company, everyone seemed to be subconsciously avoiding the elephant in the room. Once my emotional dam broke it liberated is all. It was like a cleansing heavy rain had fell and cleaned the air. This bike allowed me and my family to enjoy our last night together.

We will be leaving this bike behind but because of what it brought my daughter and now me, I will never forget this bike.

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